The Bits we Missed
by emmakmc
Summary: What was really going through Thorins mind when he left Kili in Laketown.


**So here is just a little something that danced into my head. Taken from the Desolation of Smaug. This is set in the aftermath of getting caught in Laketown. **

The boat lay ready. The men had turned out to see the band of dwarves off to Erebor. Thorin led them out, through the throng of people, looking regal in a bright red cloak. He looked for the first time in a long time like a king. Balin heard Bilbo pipe up.

"You do know we're one short, where's Bofur"

Thorin hardly waited for Bilbo to finish before he retorted that they must leave him behind if need be. Balin sighed.

"We'll have to if we're to find the door before nightfall. We can risk no more delays."

Thorin was silent. Balin knew what may have been running through his king's mind after their discussion the previous night.

_(Flashback__)_

"_How is Kili" Balin sat down beside Thorin. Balin had seen the way the young dwarf had lowered his head whenever Thorin so much as glanced in his direction._

"_Kili! Why?" Thorin took a sip of his ale moodily glancing up in the way of his youngest nephew, who was sat quite apart from anyone else, a grimace on his face._

"_Bilbo said he fell down the stairs" Balin watched Thorin for his reaction but there was none._

"_Reckless lad" Thorin grumbled and then caught Balin's eye_

"_He's alive isn't he" the saying made Balin smile, it was a saying Thorin had used often when the lads were dwarflings and in trouble. Thorin turned to stare at Kili who neither noticed nor paid any attention to anything occurring around him._

"_I asked him a moment before if he was alright" Thorin spoke softly, his voice laced with emotion "He said he could manage, I shouldn't have given him so much to carry"_

"_You didn't know he was going to fall" Balin patted Thorin on the ar._

"_Could have took his foolish head off" Thorin cringed as he said it, knowing his nephew had been lucky to have received no injuries from the weapons he was carrying. He looked back at Kili, who he could see was now being fussed over by Fili. He watched the two intently, Kili pulling away from Fili as the elder had obviously asked what was wrong. He decided to intervene and stood up taking a drink before his nephews caught his movement. Thorin loomed over them both._

"_Fili, run and bring Kili something to eat lad. He's feeling sorry for himself" Fili nodded before catching his brother's eye, which he thought contained a hint of pleading. Leaving Kili with Thorin who sat at his side._

"_I'm sorry" Kili mumbled. Thorin watched his closely, his hair falling over his face, he looked sweaty and pale. The light in his eyes dim and childlike asking for forgiveness. Thorin frowned_

"_For what"_

"_Getting us caught" he paused "I'm sorry"_

"_Don't worry about it lad, its ok, everything worked out ok" Thorin had been angry with Kili initially. Thorin knew Kili had known, he had seen the look before many times in his childhood. Having Thorin as an uncle could be a scary prospect. Kili nodded at Thorin's admission, but refused to look up at him._

"_How's the leg"_

"_It's fine" Kili replied a little bit too quickly but Thorin said nothing, he knew his nephew, he had watched him grow from birth, held him the day he was born, a tiny sick little dwarfling not expected to survive, so early had he came. Thorin patted his nephew on the shoulder. _

"_Eat"" he said "Keep up your strength" with that Thorin left Kili who raised his head with wide frightened eyes and watched his uncle walk away. Balin watched the exchange with his brother, the two sitting side by side discussing the matter in hand. Thorin returned to them and began to drink another ale, while pulling out his pipe and settling himself so he could keep an eye on his wayward nephew. _

_(End of flashback)_

The dwarves began to jump into the boat, excited and fuelled by adrenaline, they watched as Thorin stopped Kili from following them.

"Not you, we must travel at speed you will slow us down" Thorin continued loading the boat before looking at his nephew. A smile tickling Kili's lips, Thorin knew the smile was bravado, he had seen it enough times to know that. He knew how hard this was going to be on Kili. Trying to argue Thorin watched as did the others as Kili's face fell with the realisation he was to be left behind. Kili felt punished for his stupidity the night before.

Fili's eyes creased into a fierce frown as he realised what was happening and Balin watched the youngster on the deck, tears threatening to fall from his eyes betraying his defiance. Balin knew this would be breaking Thorin's heart. If anything while Fili was Thorin's prize, Kili was his the one who made him smile when he was down. All the dwarves knew the relationship between Thorin and Kili and most understood that Thorin was doing what was best for the company but also the doubt of taking his nephew into the lair of a dragon was the act of a father and uncle. It seemed that Thorin was standing firm and would not be allowing Kili to travel further with them. Balin watched as the youngster defended himself and how Thorin tenderly cupped his head giving Kili the much needed attention which he sought. Thorin turned to the boat, leaving a clearing shocked Kili behind him. Even in the shock Kili did not disobey nor argue any further. "No" thought Balin, the argument would now come from Fili. And so it was that Balin watched as Fili took up a stance and argue for Kili. Fili was visibly desperate, yelling at Thorin, the others in the boat shuffling nervously and trying to look busy, but who were stunned with the unfolding of events. In that one moment Balin watched as Fili Son of Dis, chose his side, he would not betray his brother and Thorin did not try to stop him. It was thought Balin a ploy all along to leave both brothers in Laketown in case something were to happen to Thorin, as surely Thorin would have known that Fili would not leave Kili. It would go against every instinct within him. Everything that Thorin had taught him. Thorin turned away from them, his face ashen as he climbed into the boat, he risked one last look at the nephews he looked upon as sons. Only Kili glanced back, a fear glazing his eyes. The boat began to move off and Balin glanced at the company they were leaving behind. He smiled at Kili who did not return it, utter betrayal upon him. Kili groaned and as soon as the boat was out of sight, all pretence faded and the Durin prince fell upon his brother. Oin and Bofur supporting Fili who was suddenly glad they were as Kili looked terrible. The concern for him grew in Fili's mind and while slight panic set in for Fili as he realised he was now the one in charge, the anger at Thorin for leaving them raged within him. Once the master had rejected them, Bofur sensing a need to help Fili suggested Bard. As Fili supported his brother Kili was feeling sick with every movement. He had known there was something not quite right with his leg and he had been too afraid to tell Thorin. Thorin had left him anyway, the fear of what was going to happen if Thorin found out happened anyway. Thorin had left him. The dwarf he loved like a father had left him here. Kili closed his eyes as the reality hit him in waves of nausea. His eyes burned with unshed tears and his mind fell quiet.

Thorin was quiet also. On the boat, he attempted to rid his mind of what he had done. His mind had to focus on Erebor and not on the precious boys that he had left behind.

**Thanks for reading don't know if it's any good. I'm always interested on things that may have happened within the film, and also what characters may or may not be thinking. I may continue with this idea if I get any interest.**


End file.
